19 Mar

Been home a couple of days now. I will only be here a week, and it somehow got me far away removed from the nightmare that was the last few weeks of work. Right now I am reading The Tempest, trying to inject some quality reads into my Goodreads reading goal, because so far all I have finished are children’s books. Lol. It feels good, somehow, to be able to be away from it all. It is a good bonus that it is not exceedingly hot considering that it is summer here in the Philippines. The mangoes aren’t ready for the picking yet, though. Sad!


Good night, sweet prince.

1 Mar

Where is Basilio?

27 Feb

My sister told me that today Basilio did not show up for meals. Since Sunday he had been a bit lethargic and had very little appetite. And now he hasn’t returned. I have blogged about Basilio before, about six years ago, when he went missing when he was still a kitten. At that time we thought that he was gone forever, until my dad started asking around the neighborhood and found out that a little kid had kept him as a pet for a while, after he ended up at their house.

Now, I don’t know if there will be a happy reunion, as he is now older, more gruff and because we never had him neutered, more battle-scarred. He had always been an outside cat, but since our other male cat, Nemon, disappeared, he became more aloof and the traces of that sweet cat was gone. It was only recently that my sister had convinced him to come inside the house and sometimes he would sleep in her room.

And then this. If there is anything I know about cats, it’s that they tend to make themselves scarce when they are sick… and sometimes they never come back. They won’t return home to die.

I want to be optimistic about this. After all, it wasn’t the first time that he had been away from home longer than a couple of days as an adult. Maybe it is the stress from work, but I have this ominous feeling that I will never see him again.

Everything is just so stressful.


25 Feb

I feel it coming.

Because I find myself sometimes thinking of alternatives.

There are days when I just collapse in bed after getting home from work and waking up past midnight.

Most days I do not find the time or energy to do things I enjoy, like reading, listening to music or watching something on Netflix.

I  am exhausted all the time. That is why I feel exceedingly happy when I have an opportunity to take a siesta (such as when there are long weekends).

I neglect even my daily routines.  Things I now do only sporadically: meal prepping, writing on my bullet journal, moisturizing my face in the evening.

I feel like I do not have time to finish all the things I need to do. This week I went to school for seven days straight. Monday to Friday, work. Saturday, extra classes. Sunday, marking papers. I still have a pile of stuff that needs to be done. It is like the seven days in the week is not enough for all of it.

Teaching is one of those careers where burnout is very common. I feel like this time is different. More than anything, it is the sheer amount of work that needs to be done is doing me in.

I want to escape all of it.

Counting down til the term break comes around.

Philippines revokes licence of leading news website Rappler

27 Jan

Philippines revokes licence of leading news website Rappler


This is nauseating… What is happening back home. A murderous dictator and his coterie of ass-lickers. An army of internet trolls. I have friends who believe that Duterte is the best thing to happen to the Philippines. 

But it’s just history repeating itself. 

Guilty pleasure

20 Jan

Somehow I ended up watching From 5 to 9 yesterday. It had been years since I last earnestly watched a j-dorama. I was pretty much into it especially before I started working in Indonesia. I had also watched a handful of them on Neflix, but not with the same dedication or frequency as I had before. And Yamapi! Back then I was on a mission to watch everything he had ever appeared in. And so when I watched this 2015 dorama… 

Yeah, I’ll just leave that to your imagination. 

Anyway, considering that it had been a long time, I’ve come to realize just how different I view things these days. For one, From 5 to 9 has some pretty cringe-worthy scenes: every stolen kiss is pretty much sexual harrassment, and Yamapi’s Takane is a creepy stalker. Good thing he is so good-looking! You can stalk me anytime!!! (Love you, J!) And also… I thought Buddhist monks have to have shaved heads! And why is he so rich? Isn’t his car too nice for someone who is supposed to have relinquished all wordly possessions? 

But then I stuck through all 10 episodes of it, binge-watched till 1.30 am, then did almost nothing all Saturday except stay glued to my screen. I guess it is good to turn off your brain once in a while and just enjoy the experience and be entertained. It’s a shame that for me j-dorama has become a guilty pleasure. Practical stuff, real life, adulting…. I have to consciously make myself escape reality to not spoil the fun. 

I’m not gonna lie. I had fun. Tears were shed. I felt happy and satisfied. It’s not the best, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. 

Next up, Code Blue Season 3!


16 Dec

I got back this morning. Currently at my flat somewhere in Mandaluyong. I’ve been trying to get an Uber or a Grab but to no avail. Drivers busy, both apps say. In the mean time my battery was running low, and I went back up to the unit (I was making my bookings at the lobby) to recharge my phone and my spare battery. With how things are going, I might get back home late afternoon or early evening. 

Shit sucks. 

Anyway, I will be running some errands and applying for a visa to Taiwan. And let’s see from there. 

I can’t help but have this feeling of dread and sadness. 

It’s a sad situation. 

I’ll try to be happy. Or at least enjoy the moments while they last.