The tale of my second rheumatologist.

30 Jun

I am home only for 2.5 weeks.

I had been suffering from pain on my feet, knees and fingers for months now, and sought Rheumatologist no. 2, who I will refer to now as AL, because he was the only one who had a convenient schedule when I went to the hospital to see my cardiologist.

He was relatively young, took detailed notes as I went over my complicated medical history. I should have noticed the lack of patience, the condescending tone, and it was only after I was on my third visit, PHP 2,100 poorer on consultations (without receipt) that I had admitted, with a sinking feeling, that I should have gone to a different doctor from the get-go (he even suggested it). He told me I had bursitis and even told me to Google it. He said I had osteoarthritis in the knee, but he couldn’t explain the pain and stiffness of my fingers. He was pretty adamant that it was not rheumatoid arthritis, that he wouldn’t give me treatment for that even if I had tested postive for the rheumatoid factor, if he had consented to it. He thought, I’m asssuming because I am overweight, that I might have diabetes. (With the exception of elevated white blood cells, everything in my blood count and urinalysis was clear.) He gave me a long explanation about how I should take my meds (Arcoxia) the same time each day, saying, with exasperation, you understand this right, because you’re a chemistry teacher. On the third time in his office, he seemed satisfied when I reported that the pain has lessened somewhat. The pain on my tendon is still there, though, and he said he had already tried all possible treatment options, with the exception of a direct shot of corticosteroid, because I was leaving in a couple of days and I had to rest it for 24 hours. So it’s like… Okay, just ask yer next rheumatologist in Indonesia, and don’t forget to get your kidneys and liver checked because of the Arcoxia.

Well, it’s my fault. I should have gone with my gut or my common sense. Bad doctor, stupid patient.

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Lost in time

27 Jun

Somehow, I find myself listening to those old songs, something which I haven’t done in a long time. For one, I have no use for my old iPod, because I no longer have long commutes, dull stretches of time that I needed to fill with sound. I often leave my laptop at work, and even when it is at home, I just find myself sleeping off the hours, no music filling my room. It’s only on times like these, when the sudden urge grips me, that I listen. Memories, feelings, nostalgia. I feel like I am a very different person from when I had listened to songs obsessively, memorizing each riff, each beat, voice. I was a lot of things that I am no longer today. Life is boring and uninteresting, like me.

Sick

22 Jun

My dad and I just came from the vet with very bad news: Blitzy has canine distemper.

She will need a transfusion because her red blood cell and platelet count are dangerously low.

We took her home because distemper is a very contagious disease. I hope the puppies that we saw there earlier will be alright.

She has bleeding that does not stem quickly enough. She also has edema on the neck and stomach. The vet said that there might be internal bleeding.

There is no cure for canine distemper, just alleviating symptoms of conditions like infections that occur because of it.

I hope she pulls through.

Happier when the sun shines

20 Jun

I’m back home for the summer holidays, only it is the rainy season in the Philippines right now. On my first day back, the weather was dark and gloomy, but of late it has been a little sunny.

I should be somewhere else for the holidays, but it didn’t work out because of my many health issues. Too much stress. So I’m just taking it easy at home, doing some chores, making sure the dog takes her meds, reading a couple of Harry Potter books… I’m on to my third one now, which is book 5. I still have one and a half weeks, which is not a lot of time. Still have to shop for furniture for the flat, and also get a root canal. Ugh.

Tomorrow, I’ll be meeting up with a friend that I haven’t seen in a while. I’m curious how it’ll go.

Aggretsuko is my spirit animal.

6 May

I just finished watching Aggretsuko on Netflix. Very relatable, at least when it comes to facing a huge amount of workload. Although I wish I could just belt out a heavy metal song and be alright after. In this case, a slow burn. This is what my desk looks like, literally.

My review of Avengers: Infinity War (SPOILERS!!!)

25 Apr

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LECHE.

Back

22 Apr

I’m back to Semarang.

Actually, I had a health emergency last week and ended up spending three days in hospital. A couple of days later I returned to the Philippines. And now I’m back. Better health-wise, but I guess I still have a lot of pent-up anxiety. I must learn to get a better hold of it, of myself, because while I know I am not at peak stress, my body begged to differ.

I’m at that point again when I am starting to get unsure and have that feeling of wanting to get out. But then, I signed for two more years, I have mortgage to pay, I’m not ready to give up the kind of lifestyle my work has afforded me. But yeah, I am not centered. There is something lacking if life is just waking up, going to work, getting back from work, and waiting for the weekend and the next holiday. I know I’ve been really fortunate, but yeah, I don’t live like I am. I’m not making the most of it.