End of chapter

15 Jun

I’ll be coming back home on Saturday morning. Leaving Jakarta for I don’t know how long. My visa application was not accepted (not denied) by the German embassy in Jakarta (considering that I was not going to returning to Jkt after Frankfurt) so I asked my sister in the Philippines to book me an appointment at their embassy in Manila. After several attempts and about Php 1500 worth of phone bills later, she was able to get me  scheduled on the 29th.

I am hoping for the best, but at the same time expecting the worst. When I come back to the Philippines I will be unemployed, and I am afraid that i might be profiled as someone who will overstay or illegally work while in Germany. I guess it has happened all too often, and in many other counties, that you can’t really blame them for being suspicious. But really, if my visa request was ever denied because of that, I would be deeply offended because while I have worked in Indonesia for five years, I did so legally. And I have passed up opportunities for well-paying jobs this year (possibly losing the flat that I have been paying for since 2012 in the process) just to get there. But yeah, like they would care anyway. Lol.

That one we’ll have to wait and see.

Anyway, I am still in Jakarta, sharing a flat with a friend. My third balikbayan box will be picked up on Thursday. And like I said, I will be arriving on Saturday. I AM SOOO NOT READY TO COME BACK. My things are still strewn all over the place, and there is no feeling of excitement about going back. In fact, I have this immense feeling of dread of not having the capacity to earn my own money anymore. Just thinking of it upsets me. No more job to come back to. Most likely six years of not having an income. While I must do this to start a life together with my boyfriend, losing my financial independence is a pill a little too bitter to swallow.

Today we had a meeting to deliberate the fates of failing students this year. I am such an asshole for giving homeroom teachers a hard time, but I really hate “helping” lazy students. Especially if the homeroom teacher asks for them to be given free rides even if they don’t submit their projects after many reminders, cajoling, and threats from me. Eventually I had to give in to peer pressure. But not without making myself look like an asshole first. Lol. Anyway, why should I care. I won’t be there anymore next year. All I can say is: good luck!

Tomorrow is the last day of the meeting, and I should really get to cleaning out my desk.

Au revoir, work. 

I’m gonna miss my salary.

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